5 Ways to Celebrate Kinktober in the Bedroom

October is a lot of things — the start of fall, a time to celebrate Halloween, an opportunity to eat as much candy as possible, and Kinktober. Which makes it a time to celebrate all things kinky and BDSM.

From bondage fantasies to playing with orgasms, there are plenty of ways to enjoy Kinktober this month. Here are a few ideas to get you started.

Break Out the Cuffs and Collar

To make Kinktober special, do away with your old handcuffs or silk ties. Upgrade your tie-me-to-the-bed fantasies with sturdy leather or vegan cuffs. These often feature a D or O-ring that you can clip to bondage restraints or hook together. They also feel more comfortable and allow for more pulling and tugging when things get truly wild.

Handcuffs and ties are a great entry-level option for kinky fun, but after a while, consider upgrading your gear. You’ll be amazed at how much better of an experience it is when you use stuff designed to handle your kinky play.

Try Dominance and Submission

For some kinksters, they can’t imagine their life without the power dynamics of dominance and submission (D/s). For others, it’s a fun way to role-play. There’s no right or wrong way to feel about D/s. If you wonder how you can turn up the heat in your kinky fun, play more intentionally with control and power.

In dominance and submission, one partner has the control and decides what to do while the other gives up control. It all involves consent and plenty of communication to figure out what you both want and don’t want. But it adds a level of heat that can take your kinky fun to entirely new levels.

Level Up Your Spanking Experience

Spanking, like tie-me-up bondage fantasies, is an easy way to explore kink without a lot of commitment. All you need is your hand and a willing butt. It’s great during rough sex or just as a few playful swats on the butt to remind someone “who’s boss” in the bedroom. But it can be so much more than that if you want.

Leveling up your spanking takes many forms. You can buy paddles, floggers, and whips to give your hand a break. You can use it as part of your D/s play (see above). Spanking is great in role-play games or to find out how much pain you or a partner can handle. Whatever you love about spankings, there’s always a way to level up by pushing harder and trying new things (within your boundaries).

Play with Orgasm Control

Not everyone combines kinky fun and their sex life, but if you’re trying to celebrate Kinktober in the bedroom, you probably do. One fun way to get off but “make it kinky” is with orgasm control. One partner can have the final say over the other partner’s orgasms — with consent, of course.

You might decide your partner can masturbate but can’t come. They might decide to tease you until you’re begging for an orgasm, and then say no. Together you might find a powerful vibrator and force orgasms from each other until you’re too exhausted to move. However you play, pleasure is the point.

Try New Types of Bondage

Bondage comes in many forms. If you play with handcuffs or ties, you’ve tried one form. When you upgrade to cuffs, that’s another. That’s just the beginning. If you love the tie-me-up or tie-me-down vibe, there’s an entire world of bondage to explore.

• Get a set of under-the-bed restraints so you can play with bondage more easily.
• Try bondage tape and “tie” your partner into a sexual position so it’s easier to do kinky sex things.
• Learn about rope bondage online and then practice a cool tie and take sexy pictures.
• Hold your partner down with your body and hands and nothing else.
• While playing with power, “command” your partner to hold a specific position for as long as possible.

There are so many ways to play with bondage and even more ways to experiment and try new things.

Conclusion

As with all things kinky and sexy, consent matters most of all. Don’t spring new BDSM fun on your partner without talking to them first, and always respect their boundaries and limits. But once you know what’s fair game, try the kinky thing both of you can’t stop thinking about. Even if it doesn’t go “perfectly,” there’s still plenty of fun to have and kink to explore. That is the perfect way to celebrate Kinktober or any day ending in “y.”