7 Bondage Tips for Complete Newbies
Being turned on by bondage and kink and actually doing it with a partner are two completely separate things. No one should ever try to copy what they see in porn or read in erotica without a bit of practice first. But if you’re desperate to tie your partner up or down (or be tied up), there are a few things to keep in mind when you first get started. All of our tips still apply when you have experience, too, but they’re often overlooked by newbies.
Start with Simple Bondage
There’s nothing wrong with dreaming of amazing rope ties, a bit of Shibari, and all the complicated things you can do with bondage. But that’s not where anyone begins. While you’re still new to bondage, start simple. The easiest options are bed restraints or bondage tape. They don’t require special skill and can usually be removed easily in an emergency.
Have a Pair of Scissors
Whether you’re exploring rope bondage or you’re using a roll of bondage tape, you need safety equipment. The simplest thing to have is a pair of safety scissors. If your partner complains of numbness, tingling, or pain in their arms, legs, hands, or feet, you need to get them out quick. Cut off the rope or tape as soon as possible to keep them safe. Safety scissors are the best option because they’re curved to avoid cutting your partner, but in a pinch, any pair of scissors will do.
Have a Safeword
A safeword is a word or phrase that doesn’t fit in the moment. When it’s said, it sounds so strange you can’t miss it. Some people use the stoplight method: red means stop, yellow means slow down, and green means keep going. Other people come up with a phrase or word like “pineapple” or “purple elephant.” This word, once said, means everything stops. You might be able to keep going later, but only if your partner is willing. For the record, you can always decide that “no” and “stop” are all that need to be said. If you don’t set a safeword, those should always be honored. But if saying “no” is part of your kinky fun, a safeword is necessary.
Check In With Each Other
If you want to know if your partner is enjoying the bondage experience, ask them. Ask if they’re comfortable, if you can keep going, and if they’re enjoying it. You don’t have to be stiff and weird about it. Say something like, “Does this feel good?” or “Do you want me to keep going?” Because bondage can cause physical pain and injury if done wrong, this helps keep your partner safe. It’s also a sexy way to make sure they’re still into this kinky thing you’re doing together.
Skip Bondage You Don’t Enjoy
If you don’t want to play with handcuffs, don’t. If the idea of having your wrists and ankles bound feels weird, don’t do it. Some people hate rope and prefer tape. Others want under the bed restraints and nothing else. Being into bondage doesn’t mean you like everything. Only do what turns you both on and ignore the rest. Remember, kink and bondage are supposed to be fun, so focus on what you really like to do.
Educate Yourself on New Bondage Techniques
For some people, once they start playing with bondage, they want to do more. You might start with fuzzy handcuffs and decide you’re really interested in more intricate rope ties. Before you try anything new, educate yourself. There are plenty of resources online, especially YouTube where you can learn how to tie knots and stay safe in your bondage exploration. Don’t try some new sexy thing with rope until you’ve had a bit of practice first.
Talk About Everything With Your Partner
You have to talk to your partner about the kinky things you want to do before you try it. That’s how you get their consent. But you need to talk about it once the fun is done and your kinky toys are put away, too. Discuss what worked and what didn’t. Talk about how everything felt and what could be done differently next time. Not only does this help you both have a better experience, it can help you grow closer and gain confidence and trust in each other for future kinky plan.
Conclusion
No matter what kinky thing you’re into — bondage or something else — most of what you need to know is about how to stay safe and make sure you and your partner enjoy it. The actual skills you need come with practice and learning from others. Feel free to begin with something easy like bondage tape. If you never try rope or do anything else, that’s okay, too. What really matters is that you have a good time.
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