Sex Tips Everyone Needs to Know
There are very few absolutes when it comes to sex. We’re all very different and sexuality is a wide world with nearly infinite diversity. Because we run a sex shop, we get asked a lot of questions about how people can have better sex and give their partners as much pleasure as possible.
There are hardly any “one size fits all” sex tips. However, there are a few basic rules that will help you out no matter your gender, sexuality, age, or level of experience. Here are a few of the sex tips we think everyone needs to know.
Consent Comes First
It should go without saying but it is always worth repeating that consent must come first. Consent isn’t always verbal, and body-language can tell you a lot about how your partner feels. But if you’re not sure, it’s always better to ask than to risk overstepping a boundary.
Remember: the absence of a “no” isn’t the same as a “yes.” Consent should be explicit, enthusiastic, and ongoing.
Don’t Make Assumptions
You can’t assume you know what your partner will like or be up for based on their gender, genitals, or past experiences. People are all different and will be interested in different things in different contexts.
Instead, approach sex as a mutual exploration. Whether this is the first or thousandth time you’ve had sex with someone, keep an open mind and stay curious. Ask questions and be receptive to what your partner wants. Communication is everything!
Lube Makes Sex Better
There’s an unfortunate stigma around using lube. But it isn’t just for people who struggle to get wet. Nor is it just for anal sex. In fact, lube makes everything better, from hand jobs to vaginal sex and much more.
Baffled by the array on offer at your favorite sex shop? Don’t panic. A good water-based lube will suit most bodies and is compatible with all sex toys. Oil-based and silicone-based lubes can be slicker and longer-lasting, but aren’t compatible with all toy materials and some barriers, so do your research first!
Use Sex Toys
Toys aren’t just for solo sex and they definitely aren’t a last resort for people who don’t have a partner. Whether you’re single or partnered, toys can make sex better. Why not make a date night out of browsing an online sex shop together and choosing some products to try?
Not sure where to start? A clitoral vibrator, vibrating cock ring, or wearable couple’s vibrator are all great beginner’s options!
Remember: YKINMKBYKIOK
This stands for Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is Okay. It was popularized by BDSM practitioners, but it’s a good sex tip in general. It reminds us that everyone has their own sexual preferences and that we should respect them even if we don’t share them.
If your partner shares a sexual fantasy or fetish with you that you don’t share, it’s important that you don’t shame them or act disgusted. You don’t have to engage with the fantasy or fetish if you don’t want to, but you do need to be respectful and kind.
Try New Things
Even the hottest sex in the world might get boring if you’ve already done the same thing 500 times before. Always make the time to try new things!
If you’re in a relationship, talk to your partner about your fantasies. You might want to watch porn or read erotica together. You could also try bondage and BDSM, experiment with a completely new type of sex toy, roleplay sexy scenarios, or – if you’re feeling really adventurous – visit a sex club or try out a threesome.
If you’re single, don’t neglect spicing things up in your solo sex life. Watch a different genre of porn, try virtual reality sex, head to a sex shop and pick up a new toy, or read an erotic novel. Variety is the spice of life, so embrace it!
Conclusion: Embrace the Silly and Imperfect
Sex isn’t always hot and steamy like it is in porn, or perfectly romantic like it is in movies. In real life, sex is sometimes awkward, sometimes silly, sometimes funny, and always imperfect. The best way to enjoy great sex is to make peace with that!
In real life, the phone might ring at an inopportune moment, a body might make an unsexy noise, or someone might get an ill-timed cramp. It happens! Stop expecting perfection and learn to have a laugh with your partner. Embracing real-life sex in all its glory will free you from the need to “perform” and help you show up authentically and create something beautiful.